Dear Mother Earth,
In the past, we've both maintained a few professional courtesies. Namely, you don't piss on me while I'm carrying a laptop and I hunt endangered (but delicious) species for fun and profit. However I believe today this agreement has been broken quite severely. It was only my quick-thinking and cat-like reflexes that enabled me to protect Jesus every time you let another golden shower cascade on our fair city.
So I'm officially declaring it open-fucking-season. I will make sure to drink panda soup and eat white rhinocerous jerky while dynamite fishing for whales and shooting bald eagles. The endangered species list is now my menu.
Your move, bitch.
Regards,
Adam O'Grady
PS: Today I had my in-lab programming test. I don't think I did that well. Sad-face.
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