I'm spitting blood when I brush my teeth again.
It's not that I don't brush often, as it's a twice a day habit. I also eat quite well and don't smoke. I think I need a dentist, but I work 09:00 to 17:30 every day of the week, which prevents that. Same thing with going for my license.
Also, I'm creating this blog to document my life and give me a place to write my emo-ish feelings and thoughts when I need to. So I guess this is my welcome to you all.
Addendum: Courier is the best font available IMHO. It has that lovely "old-school" feel behind it, while still being a default font on almost every browser and system in the world, creating no compatability or readability issues.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
First Post
So I've got to say, life really stopped being all it was cracked up to be for the longest time. I mean, for a while, it was insane. I was either working, hanging with mates or out clubbing. I moved to a full-time job, started earning good money and became addicted to ecstasy and developed a deep love of LSD as well.
Of course, all good things must come to an end. One of my good mates got caught for possession (which is putting it lightly). Another got in massive debt and ate lead aspirin.
After that, everyone else just sort of split up. We used to hang out in a carpark once the clubs closed, hailing in the dawn and just chatting while we all sobered up. We'd usually go to a local public pool to unwind or go out paintballing as well. But after everyone started owing money and the combined debt was probably enough to buy a nice house, we all bailed on it.
I started knuckling down and focusing on work, quit drugs for some time and tried to straighten up my life. My girlfriend wanted me to as well. She wanted us to settle down, get nice jobs and start a family. I think that was about the time everything started to close in again. Since then I've been a pretty constant downhill slide. I stopped exercising because it no longer made me feel good about myself and I could no longer see a point. I stopped enjoying pretty much everything in my life.
One of the annoying parts is that it really hasn't changed much. I've met some new and interesting people and I guess that's what pisses me off most. I still do drugs on occasion, but I really only go out to a nightclub once every two weekends.
The worst part is recently I've found myself attracted to some of the newer people in my life. It's been scaring me shitless, the desire to ruin all the good things I have for what would ultimately be either a fruitless endeavour or a cheap fling given the attitudes of the people I'm attracted to. But I don't even know if I'm really attracted to them as people, but for the ideals they represent. Primarily this is being young and irresponsible. It's not time to take everything too seriously, saying "I have to settle down". It's time to go out drinking on weeknights, go to work with a hangover and most of all, have fun.
EDIT: I can't write for shit at work. Updated.
Of course, all good things must come to an end. One of my good mates got caught for possession (which is putting it lightly). Another got in massive debt and ate lead aspirin.
After that, everyone else just sort of split up. We used to hang out in a carpark once the clubs closed, hailing in the dawn and just chatting while we all sobered up. We'd usually go to a local public pool to unwind or go out paintballing as well. But after everyone started owing money and the combined debt was probably enough to buy a nice house, we all bailed on it.
I started knuckling down and focusing on work, quit drugs for some time and tried to straighten up my life. My girlfriend wanted me to as well. She wanted us to settle down, get nice jobs and start a family. I think that was about the time everything started to close in again. Since then I've been a pretty constant downhill slide. I stopped exercising because it no longer made me feel good about myself and I could no longer see a point. I stopped enjoying pretty much everything in my life.
One of the annoying parts is that it really hasn't changed much. I've met some new and interesting people and I guess that's what pisses me off most. I still do drugs on occasion, but I really only go out to a nightclub once every two weekends.
The worst part is recently I've found myself attracted to some of the newer people in my life. It's been scaring me shitless, the desire to ruin all the good things I have for what would ultimately be either a fruitless endeavour or a cheap fling given the attitudes of the people I'm attracted to. But I don't even know if I'm really attracted to them as people, but for the ideals they represent. Primarily this is being young and irresponsible. It's not time to take everything too seriously, saying "I have to settle down". It's time to go out drinking on weeknights, go to work with a hangover and most of all, have fun.
EDIT: I can't write for shit at work. Updated.
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