Drinkin' Draught...

...Dressed in drag, singing some horribly off-key variant of "Girl's just wanna have fun" by Cyndi Lauper.

Single Linked List Representation

My latest Data Structures & Algorithms assessment is almost complete. I've coded it and run it through a battery of self-designed tests to ensure that there are no problems in any methods. Any possible errors are coded to throw exceptions, as expected. I've even made sure that all the methods run in constant time periods, with the exception of the "previous(window)" method that cannot run in constant time in this representation.

I think I'm going to chill out, play a few rounds of Call Of Duty 6 before getting to the commenting. It's only fair.

In other news, had coffee with my Mum today, it was really nice to sit and chat, things are a lot better at the moment. Also looks like the idea of getting a place with Scotsman is coming closer to fruition. I hope it happens, I think it would be a great step forward in my life, something I haven't really done before.

Regards,
Adam O'Grady

Purgatory

Is a place reserved for me apparently.

All I want is whether this radio silence between us will be permanent or not.

I would like to know the reasons, but mostly I just want to know the former. That way I can decide whether or not to keep trying to be friends, you seemingly no longer want to be.

Regards,
Adam O'Grady

Trust

In a relationship, there is generally a strong level of trust between two people. This extends sometimes beyond that of a normal friendship to the extent that in many cases, if someone wishes to share a secret with a person in a relationship, that person may usually say, "be warned, my partner will probably get to know this as well". This is quite an understandable thing and in many respects, works quite well.

However, just because that person's partner is privy to certain information, it does not mean they have the right to pass it on at their discretion. The covenant here is that while the partner is privy to the information, they are a terminating party in the exchange of information, as should be the person to whom the information was revealed. This means that they do not have the right to pass this information on. This helps keep the information private.

A good model of this is that while you may supply your private details to a company for the exchange of goods and/or services, they may need to put that information through a second company at some point (whether in accounting, stock ordering or for any reason). This second company is bound by the same privacy contract that the first company is and any breaches of this carry severe repercussions.

At least, that is what I have seen is fair and have understood to be the rules.

Regards,
Adam O'Grady

General Update

Setup is formatting...

Alright, so once again I'm reformatting my laptop. I guess this is what I get for deciding to browse pornography with my girlfriend. A crapload of viruses later and it's no longer worth trying to fix the infections, time to just nuke from orbit and start again.

Aside from that, work is going quite well, study is slowly getting there as well.

Everything else though?
I've had better days.

Regards,
Adam O'Grady

First Transmission

[- Link established -]
[- Receiving Transmission -]
CONFIDENTIAL
MEMO
DEPARTMENT OF DEFENCE

Through the observations of Project Wide Sweep, we have reason to believe that Subject Foxtrot-Two-Zero is still alive and in hidin
[- Transmission broken -]
[- Attempting to reforge transmission link -]
[- ERROR -]
[- ERROR -]
[- ERROR -]
[- Link failed -]
.
..
...
[- New link incoming -]
[- Source: Unknown -]
[- Link established -]
[- Receiving transmission -]
It seems you know then, you didn't kill me.
I'm coming for you though.
And when I find you, you will wish you had killed me first, rather than make me watch her die.
~
5B 2D 20 49 4E 53 45 52 54 20 46 49 4C 45
COLLAPSE-SYSTEM.BIN
~
[- End transmission -]
[- Executing file: COLLAPSE-SYSTEM.BIN -]
\> ABORT
[- Abort refused -]
[- Sensors detecting temperature drop -]
[- Current average temperature: 0° Celsius -]
[- No cooling necessary -]
[- Turning off all cooling systems -]
[- Current average temperature: 0° Celsius -]
[- Errors detected in all sysEL!H$@(DS(*@#!!JHOR!)#

</disconnect>

To the woman with the multi-coloured hair.

So I dreamt again to an extent which I can still remember everything. There was a girl in my dreams who I can't tell if I know them or even if they exist. But if you do, I want you to know:

Firstly, you still manage to look pretty when you cry, this is rare in people.

Secondly, Lock the door on your bathroom. When I'm deaf from shellshock, I can't hear the shower.

General Update

Looks to be just another normal update. I realised I hadn't posted in a few days and it was probably a good idea to make sure I had some codified version of the things that happen in my life.

All three of my mid term exams are now completed (Data Structures & Algorithms, Calculus C and Databases) and I'm left feeling slightly more relieved. More so that I have a higher probability of passing all three units these semester, especially if I put in only a tad more effort.

On the work side of things, everything is progressing as usual, getting in some decent posts (paid professional troll) and the other duties I am assigned.

Now on to the personal side of life and the spawn of all my drama. Overall things are going quite steady, the Girlfriend and I having gotten through quite a few of our previous issues and such. We are still both quite tense these days, the arguments seem to have been ever increasing, almost from the start of the year, especially moreso now. Perhaps it is just part and parcel of the pressures placed upon us by our respective busy lives, but time will tell.

In other news, I got time to have a drink this past Sunday with the Daedalus2020. A man I must say that I have missed in recent times, for it was lovely just to reminisce about the old days and look forward to the new. How little we have derived from what we thought we would end up as. Two mates grabbing a beer on a lazy Sunday arvo, chatting about work, study and arched backs.
Amongst discussion, a good strong point was raised, that being the idea of moving in together. Something we have discussed in the past which looks incredibly attractive as time goes on, I could see it being a good decision. So I'm taking this week to think about it and consider it, then we'll probably look at finding a place we can rent near the city.

This should be exciting.

Regards,
Adam O'Grady

Butter

Having not posted in some time, I decided to raise one of the issues that occasionally does hassle me.

Butter.
In particular, how best to get it to a spreadable state.

Usually when the choice is up to me, I tend to purchase Butter Soft, however it is really just air whipped into the butter and thus you are paying a premium for effectively less butter, however it does spread with greater ease.
However if you are tight on money or you are at a place which does not have easily spreadable butter, there are two methohds you can go about making your butter more spreadable. Firstly, microwave on high for about 10-20 seconds, this tends to make the outside heat up a bit and make it slightly more spreadable. However if you don't have access too a microwave or don't want to continuously melt and solidify the outside of you butter, there is another method.

If you just scrape the area of butter that you want with small, rapid scraping actions, occasionally even wiping it back onto the butter then repeating, the friction should heat up just that small area of butter, making it a tad more spreadable.

That's how I usually roll.

Regards,
Adam O'Grady

Asymptotic Analysis

I think I've realised why I've basically tried to tear my life to pieces. I have three mid-semester exams coming up over Friday, Saturday and Monday and stressing me the fuck out without me realising it. I believe it's caused me to go on some little self-loathing trail while I despair about my performance. Honestly though, I don't think I'll do too bad, I'm known to pull myself out of the shit at the last moment if I put my mind to it.

To that extent, sorry for being a prick recently.
<3

In other news, FUCK. PERFORMANCE. ANALYSIS.

Regards,
Adam O'Grady

Finally, proper updates.

What is life?

Right now, it's sitting in 24 hour Macca's, laptop on the table, watching the world outside darken slowly from a balmy Sunday day to an unending Sunday night. Sitting this nice and close to the door, you get to watch the dregs of society pass you by so closely.

Life seems all up in arms again and it wouldn't do events justice just to write them out here. In it's most concise-yet-still-obscure form, I walked out because I didn't know who the hell I was anymore. I'll be home later.

Things I need to look at getting in the near future? A nice backpack from a camping/surplus store. Something that can hold a change of clothes or two, some basic toiletries and a towel and also hold my FarCry bag (the one that usually carries my shit). This should give me that extra bit of portability I need in life right now. Hmm, that said, a couple more good-looking t-shirts and some explorer socks will help.

Regards,
Adam O'Grady

PS: Looking at maybe taking a short vacation in a month or two if uni/work will allow it. Is anyone interested in maybe taking a short (3days to a week) break over East or in [Generic Cheap Asian Country]?

Updates

I guess I haven't really updated properly in a while, just the snippets and fragments of worlds running through my mind. To be honest, for a while, not much was happening. Things had settled into a sort of routine once more.

I think I may be getting the hang of databases. Not as much worry as I originally had.

For everything else, that remains to be seen.

Regards,
Adam O'Grady

The Four Horsemen

Famine, War, Pestilence and Death.

They ride in on their respective steeds and carve out humanity from the blank slate of the animal kingdom. Onwards they ride, deepening our purpose as both individuals and as a species. They cut swathes out from the fabric of civilisation as they see fit, the only truly inevitable powers in this world.

Regards,
Adam O'Grady

The biting cold makes every breath burn. I can feel my body slowly starting to shut down. The snow is still piling up, not the soft, crisp fields those beautiful memories show me, but the harsh, white powder that will inevitably bring my death as it whips by, stinging by bared flesh. I haven't been able to walk for a while now, limited to crawling and dragging myself on. A fruitless task at that anyway, thousands of miles from anywhere. Cold and alone I may die, but at least there's no one counting on me. Thank you for that last little touch. Telling my friends I beat you, real classy.

I'm sure it's erased by now, but I pissed something in the snow for you.

"Fuck you."

I can still hear her screams.

No matter how certain I was she was dead, no matter how much I destroyed her body, how far and wide the remains were scattered and how far I ran from it all, I could still hear those piercing screams.

I always knew it would rest on my conscience. I always knew I would see her face every time I shut my eyes. But what more could I do? She was going to take you from me. I couldn't let her do that to you, even if she is your mummy. Your still my daughter and I don't care if she took our house, our car, our friends and everything I own, she can't have you. I was happy with the agreement, I was happy to have you one weekend in two weeks. I still got that time to watch you grow up, to take you to the zoo and watch those Saturday morning cartoons while we cooked pancakes. But she wanted to take away even that.

Don't cry honey, mummy had to go for a long trip. Away for a very long time. But we can play until she get's back. We're going to play hide-and-seek for a while, away from everyone, in another country. Even if they do find us, at least I'll have gotten to see you and hold you in my arms, one last time.

Gosh you're growing up sweetie.

So fast, so very fast.

I still don't know.

What can we do?

Every step forward we take against this damn filtering, every time we knock out a new equipment building, the government builds three more. They lock them down tighter, obscure them more. Worse still, because they put them in more remote areas now, the public is starting to be affected as well. All the traffic being routed to the filtering engines is causing bottlenecks, forcing the government to limit citizen 'net use.

With ears pricked for the slightest noise in my lookout position, a crunch of leaves or a car coming up the driveway, I hear Lorry's urgent voice.
"Three minutes man, I don't want a repeat of September's fuck-up."

Hmm. September. A security officer showed up right after we had left the building, stupid git had entered the office despite the "lockdown" status these buildings are supposed to have. Incinerated in the blast.
I haven't slept right since then, I don't think any of us have. We weren't ever trying to hurt anyone in all of this, it was about the freedom of information, net neutrality. Of course, the government just used it as more propaganda against us, gave the guy a post-mortem award for bravery and condemned us all as vandals.

What sort of first-world country do we live in when our own government clamps down on what we're allowed to see? It makes me miss Hank even more, he was the one that got the blacklist copy, the one that he tried to show the people and the wider world some of the stuff that the government was blocking. Poor guy, fit and healthy as he was, somehow managed to die of a heart attack just two days later.

Why did I join this dangerous cause? I had a good job, decent life and a lovely wife. I never liked the idea of a net filter, never saw the benefits, but I guess I didn't mind it too much. Until the day some twisted sociopath kidnapped, raped and murdered my wife. The part that crossed me over the line was during his trial when he told the court that he had always wondered about it what it would be like, but because he was never able to see the damage it did and how horrible it was because it was "blocked content", he had to try it himself.
The court officer who escorted me out told me that I wasn't the first, that these cases were happening more and more frequently since the filter was put inplace. So I quit my work, went underground, started trying to help the public see that there is a better way.

Nicotine Smoke

You can feel it. Drenching the words between us. Not mine nor yours but our combined diatrabe. It was nice just to realise that if necessary, we can both scheme and attempt to manipulate each other and realise that on some level, we both have the ability to be horrible people.

Alternatively, pretty odd night. To be fair, it was pretty awesome. Finding comfort amongst friends, movies and drink is always a pleasure, so thank you for bringing me once more into your home.

Personally, I'm quite happy to know that my tattoo is complete as well. It looks excellent and makes me feel a bit more whole as a person. To look down and know that it is a part of me for good now. At peace with it.

Regards,
Adam O'Grady